"And I could see for miles, miles, miles..."

“This just keeps getting better and better.”  That is a phrase that we have said too many times to remember in the last five days.  It slips off our tongues so easily and still surprises us every time.  We feel so lucky to have each and every moment on this trip and we are just so frequently in awe of how everything just seems like such a gift and like the “cherry on top”, or such a pleasant surprise that it reminds you of when you get back to your hotel room at the end of the night and there is a chocolate waiting for you on your pillow (or maybe that just happens on cruises?).  

First stop of our long night in Nashville 

Anyways, I haven’t been able to write as often as I’d hoped as we have really been on the move covering a lot of ground (since my last post we’ve travelled from Nashville to Denver).  We have passed through cities big and small…and some little towns that most people will probably never see. And in every day and as many moments as possible, I’ve just wanted to really soak in everything around us: the vistas, the landscapes, the unending horizons; the sunsets and sunrises; the trees, the clouds; all the different herds of cattle grazing in the grass or wading in little pockets of water. The list really goes on and on. 

So, as we drive and listen to the CDs that our friends gave us we just soak it all in.   The endless supply of music doesn’t come from our own music libraries or Pandora, but from over 30 CDs we received from our friends.  One night in May while Margo and I were hanging out thinking about this trip, I thought “we should request “mix tape” CDs from our friends as a going away gift and just ask them to put on the music that they would want to listen to on a road trip of their own….their “happy music.”  It turns out that was one of the best ideas I’ve had because our friends really came through with a lot of amazing music (a few people even gave us multiple CDs: 2, 8, 10). Not only have we been introduced to a lot of music we had never heard; but, as we listen to the CDs, we think of whoever made it and really do feel like they are with us on the journey ;).  There have been countless awe-inspiring moments and sights and the soundtracks given to us have made it all that much more beautiful and we couldn’t be more grateful for the efforts put in to share that music with us.

Old farmer and his dog tending to the cemetary grounds 

The Kansas plains

We have had so many adventures that it’ll take me a while to get it all down on “paper”, especially because I clearly need to find some more synonyms to describe everything.  Sorry for all of the use of the words “amazing”, “beautiful”, “wonderful”, etc…but I am a bit tongue tied and speechless in a way; having trouble really finding the right words to describe all of this. But to give you a quick glance into the last 3-5 days, our adventures have included, but are not limited to: a big music filled night out in Nashville on Sunday til 4:30 am; to a tire issue on Monday night that had us pulling over at random gas stations in Arkansas until me made it to Little Rock for the night; to buying lots of fresh produce and other local products (honey wheat bread, strawberry rhubarb jam, apple butter) at the Little Rock Farmers Market;

to getting the tire fixed by the amazing Butler family outside of Little Rock;  to having a luxurious bath in Hot Springs; to a gorgeous Arkansas sunset; to having quite an adventure driving late night through the middle of nowhere Oklahoma in the dark on a long deserted highway (thank goodness for iPhone google maps!)…and the golden half-moon laying low in the sky and then, later, the blanket of stars above; to parking next to a lake in a national park (around 2:30 am) in southern Kansas so that we could nap for a few hours before day break; to the amazing sunrise that followed…and kept following us down the road a bit and the sunrise train driving by at the perfect moment; to the early morning stop at a beautiful cemetery on the side of the road and quick chat with the old farmer tending the grounds; to the gorgeous plains of Kansas and falling in love with Council Grove; to a dip in the Council Grove Lake after a country fried chicken breakfast at the Saddlerock Café and listening to the table of old farmers talk about how to keep people from stealing their hay; to driving through 110 degree heat (the hottest weather I’ve ever felt) and crossing the smoky border into Colorado (smoke that must have been from one of the Kansas wild fires as the rest of the drive into Denver was clear of smoke); to the ridiculously amazing and nothing short of beautiful sunset through Colorado…it really seemed to go on for a few hours; and, finally, to the culture shock of driving into the Denver area with soooo many cars and traffic compared to the previous night when we saw just three cars in a two hour period…that was definitely an adventure surviving the shock and the giggles that wouldn’t stop (we blamed it on the altitude!). I hadn’t thought of it like this yet, but a friend just sent me a message saying “it looks like you are having the most mariposa road trip EVER”…and I really couldn’t agree more.

Colorado skyline

We had one of our many “this just keeps getting better and better” moments as we drove into the sunset horizon in Colorado and realized that we were having an extra long sunset because we had just crossed into Mountain time and had gained yet another hour.  That has only happened twice on the trip, passing into another time zone; but both times we were surprised and excited that we had received the gift of yet another hour to stare out the car windows at the natural beauty surrounding us.  During some of these “better and better” moments, I have really believed that the universe is returning some of the good karma that Margo and I have put out into the world.  What you put into the universe really does come back to you.  Believe that.

I really cannot remember an experience in my life in which I have felt this full of happiness for this long, so consistently; and from so many different angles.  This is all reminding me to really appreciate everything.  Every small and wonderful part of each and every day…it’s reminding me to never get caught up in the fast pace of the day to day ever again.  We must always remember to step away and really LOOK and SEE the world around us for all that it has to offer.  And, if what it is offering us isn’t making our hearts smile, then we must find the strength and courage to move on until we do find that energy that beats down into our very souls and fills us with a feeling of life and love that we never want to forget.  Life…it’s just so unpredictable and so short and so fragile and precious…we must not allow ourselves to waste it. 

From Tuesday night to Wednesday night, we smiled thru an Arkansas sunset, an Oklahoma night sky, a Kansas sunrise and a Colorado sunset…all enjoyed on quiet roads (sometimes deserted) in wide open spaces.  In the background Bon Iver said it better than I probably ever could…”at once I knew I was not magnificent, strayed above the highway aisle…I could see for miles, miles, miles.”  I’d call that one of the best 24 hours of my life.

Arkansas sunset

Kansas sunrise

Colorado sunset

We must live in the present!

As expected, the goodbye was a little teary yesterday morning.  As I held little Mary and we listened to one of our favorite songs, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” (the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version), I sang along and began to cry as I looked into her sweet little eyes...”I hear babies cry and I watch them grow; they’ll learn so much more than I’ll ever know…and I think to myself what a wonderful world.”  I so very much love being an aunt and having these precious little ones to love and look after and watch as they grow into the people they are.  Ever since Maeve was born in 2005, I have taken the role and responsibilities of being an aunt very seriously…so much so, that I truly feel like a second mother to these little people…I guess that’s what being an aunt is meant to be. I love them with all of my heart and I would do anything for them.  I truly cherish their presence in my life and appreciate them so much for so many reasons; one of which is that they have helped grow my relationships with both of their mothers.  And that gift, along with the gift of all of their countless smiles and hugs, is so very priceless in this life.

Life is such a precious thing, so full of ups and downs, laughter and tears.  You will hear me say this a lot…but my family just means the world to me.  I have no idea who I would be or where I would be without them and their love and support.  At times, our relationships may be strained due to our differences, but those differences are what makes each of us so unique and helps us have such interesting dialogues and grow as people.  Because we are all so different, it can sometimes take a conscience effort to be understanding and non-judgemental of the people around us; but, when I am challenged to see things from a different perspective, even if I don’t like it at the time, I know later that it is so very important!

Anyways, as Margo and I drove the 12 hours from Norfolk to Asheville, we told each other stories of our lives.  We talked about the first people we fell in love with and the challenges that came with those young loves…the passion and intensity of it definitely has plusses and negatives!  But looking back, we know that although we were young, those feelings of love were very real.  We spoke briefly about the job we had just left and the wonderful friends that we left behind there (we had the same position and left a week apart) and about the fact that neither of us knows what we will be doing for work next (or when)...and that's okay!  And at so many points during the six hour drive on that beautiful Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway we smiled and really soaked it in in all of its glory…so happy to have the open road ahead of us, both literally and figuratively J

As we drove through the peacefully gorgeous and breathtaking mountains, we couldn’t help but feel so happy and lucky to be exactly where we were in each moment.  If you’ve never been to the Blue Ridge Mountains, you really should put them on your list of places to go!  It never ceased to amaze us how blue they actually appear…and how they seem to go on forever and ever as if there is nothing else beyond them.  With such a feeling of elation, and surrounded by such relaxing natural beauty, I couldn’t help but think about the resolution I had come to earlier in the week. Something that has certainly been said before, but because I’m such a dreamer and a lover and a thinker (and, as a result, a bit of an over-analyzer at times)…I have never been that great at it:

**We must live in the present!  We cannot change the past; we most certainly cannot predict the future; but, the one thing we can definitely do is LIVE IN THE PRESENT.**

Simple, right?  No. Not necessarily. But especially during these months of self-imposed freedom and self-titled “Marci Time”, I resolve to remind myself of this…perhaps every day.  I will not let these days/weeks/months pass me by without truly appreciating as many moments as possible and accepting them for what they are…unknown, spontaneous (at times), precious, wonderful, irreplaceable moments of my life journey.   I’d be a fool to let them pass me by unnoticed.

Taking the Reigns!

So much has changed for me in the last month and I couldn’t be happier about the direction I am going and all that is ahead!  I will try to keep this blog updated with the different adventures coming up; so feel free to check back for updates!

A quick recap on how I got to where I am today: I started a job in January 2011 with hopes and dreams of what could be; but, a year and a half later I had to throw in the towel.  To be brief, it just didn’t work out.  I tried.  I tried for a long time.  But, it just wasn’t didn’t work.  And, in an effort to stop living a life that made me so unhappy, I finally took the reigns and made the necessary life changes to try to find my happy place J  My last day at work was June 1.

Why Germany you ask?  I have actually been thinking about Berlin for two years now and only put it on the back burner when this last job opportunity came to light.  It seemed like such a great fit for me, so I had to give it a shot; but when I realized that I needed to leave my job, I knew this would be the best chance for me to make plans for that move back to Europe.  And, ultimately, after much thinking and researching, I decided to give myself a few months stateside to hop around and spend time with my family first.  My twin sister, Meagan, inadvertently helped me lock-in a deadline for quitting my job because once I spent some time with her little baby girl shortly after her birth (on our birthday!!), I decided that I wanted to spend some quality time with them by being Mary's nanny for the first two weeks that Meagan went back to work.  By making that commitment, I was locked in for some “Professional Aunt” duties and was forced to get my butt in gear with the rest of the arrangements!  After about five stressful weeks of packing, moving, working, floating (I got to live in the most beautiful treasure of an old house in DC for my last month in town!), more working, more moving, goodbyes, etc.; I finally really got to begin my adventure on June 10 when I brought the Greyhound down to Norfolk. 

The last two weeks have been nothing but relaxing, peaceful, stress-free and wonderful.  And after the last year and a half…all of those things are so very welcome!  Having the rare opportunity to spend two weeks with Meagan (something that hasn’t happened since we graduated high school!!); and, even more special, to take care of my now three month old niece, Mary, has been priceless.  I spent my days singing and reading to her and just being with one of the sweetest little babies that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing…and what could be better than that??  Singing her to sleep and watching her as she dreams; listening to her coo and try to talk or sing-along; helping her stand and dance along to the music that we would listen to (Goyte, The Avett Brothers, Disney songs, Fleetwood Mac); having her sleep in the baby bjorn, her body pressed up against mine and her face smushed into me as I walked on the beach and smelled the fresh breeze….all of these moments will be with me for such a long time.  Such precious moments that we don’t normally get to have, at least not for such an extended period of time….and I feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to have each one of them. 

I also feel so grateful that Meam and I have grown back together after a few slippery years in which we fell apart a bit.  There was a time when we couldn’t be together for even half a day without arguing and wanting to escape each other; but, we have been working the last few years on building our friendship, relationship and sisterly bond back to a better place.  And it makes me so happy to know with all of my heart that we have most definitely accomplished that.  Now, we can spend two weeks together with nothing even close to an argument…and the thought of saying goodbye tomorrow brings tears to my eyes.  I wouldn’t want to escape this and all of these loving, easy, happy moments for anything….but the start of another adventure awaits me tomorrow…so I must go.  

A big thank you and so much love to Meagan, Mary and Paul for making the first two weeks of this journey such wonderfully simple and amazing ones.