Tuesday, October 30, 2012

La Via del Silenzio


October 19
What an adventure I’ve been having these last months.  There are just so many stories to tell, so many memories etched into my life’s journey; so many moments of exploration and happiness, smiles and laughter…easy living.  But LIVING; and, I am just really loving and appreciating every single day.  The feeling I have in my heart, soul and spirit is almost indescribable.  And all of these things are part of the reason why I’ve been off the radar these last six weeks.  I’ve been so busy living and enjoying and learning and, as I like to call it “explorin’ n tourin’” that I either haven’t known how to write about it all or it just seemed like an impossible task…or both.

Isola San Giulio

But I really feel too full of life and happiness to stay silent any longer!  I recently visited La Isola San Giulio, a tiny island on Lake Orta, about an hour outside of Milan.  The island is so small that there are no cars at all, just boats to get to and from the mainland and one main walking path that takes you in a big loop around the island “village.”  Along the path, there were signs that caught my eye and had me thinking the whole time I wandered around…they were definitely a bit random…but they were so simple in their complexity, and so beautiful.  And they really made me think as I walked.  Each of the following thoughts is written on the sign in Italian, then German, then English and then French:


La Via del Silenzio
The way of the silence. 
Listen to the water, the wind, your steps. 
*In the silence, you accept and understand.*
*In the silence you receive all.*
Silence is the language of love. 
*Silence is the peace of oneself.* 
Silence is music and harmony. 
Silence is truth and prayer.

(I "starred" my favorites.)

La Via del Silenzio…I love those thoughts and am so grateful for the silence and all that can be found within it…….but, I am also very happy that I found my writing voice again, if even just momentarily.

Angels along La Via del Silenzio

Fast forward to October 30…I just sat down on my bed after spending the last hour cleaning and packing (preparing for my 5th move in 3 months!) and, bored with Facebook and email (since nothing much is happening there, really!) I wondered what I should do instead and immediately I said to myself matter-of-factly, “it’s time to write.”    (Enter smiley face here.)  I definitely don’t want to waste this opportunity!

I have thought a lot about my writing (and lack thereof) a lot over the last two months, but most especially these last weeks ; and, I’ve been talking to people about it too.  For a good part of the last two silent months, I was really disappointed in myself for not fulfilling that want and need and goal to focus on my writing these first three months in Berlin.  I failed. I haven’t even written half the time!  But go back to the last sentence of the first paragraph that I wrote on October 19: “I’ve been so busy living and enjoying and learning and, as I like to call it “explorin’ n tourin’” that I either haven’t known how to write about it and/or it just seemed like an impossible task.”  As thoughts of disappointment lingered in my head the last week, I thought to myself…what I HAVE been doing is a heck of a lot of photography.  Photography was definitely another goal and focus of mine when I thought of how I would be productive during this time in my life…but if I had to put them in order, writing was my priority and photography would be my sub-focus.  Thing is…life happened.  And guess what?  The breeze floated this butterfly into a snap-happy, photography-loving heaven.  Berlin is GORGEOUS.  I can’t stop taking photos.  I see so many beautiful things every single day.  I really see beauty everywhere.  And I can express myself via photography almost as well as I can via writing.  Especially considering that I don’t know how to be exactly brief in my writing…documenting my life with photography the last months has really been an active way for me to creatively process everything.  And I’m loving it!  It’s impossible to keep up with the editing considering the thousands of photos I’ve already taken…but it’s challenging and fun and exciting and something I can easily share with people back home.  That’s one of the great things about having my iPhone with me.  Although I can’t use it as a phone (Verizon doesn’t have phones with SIM card capabilities…..at least not that I know of!), I use it every single day to not only take pictures, edit them with Instagram or PixLR, or upload them to Facebook when I’m in a WiFi zone; but, also to write notes and do voice memos for myself to write later.  I still have to write up those notes and transcribe the voice memos (which started back in one of my very favorite places from the cross-country road trip this summer: Council Grove, Kansas!!!)….but they are there and they will be made into stories. 

See, that’s the thing about me and writing.  I am constantly writing in my head.  Every day, I write stories and letters, mostly while I’m biking…it’s just that sitting down and actually writing is a whole other story.  So, bear with me as I figure it all out for myself and find a balance ;) 

In the meantime, if you want to see what’s been up you should check out my Facebook photo albums as they are updated as often as possible and tell a great story in and of themselves.  As my cousin, Jaclyn, said to me yesterday, “…photojournalism!”.  Love it ;)  And I also really love and appreciate how easy Facebook makes it for me to stay connected to people even if I don’t speak or see them…we can still know a little piece of what’s happening in someone else’s life if we use it that way…

That said, I will try to post some pictures up here soon too…promise! A few more from "The Island of Silence" as the island is also known....


On our way to dinner (courtesy of Jaki)

Lit up at dusk

Instagram fun ;)


Late night Berlin fun...just a teaser!


September 13 

Another week come and gone and all I can say is that there is no way I can leave this place…at least not any time soon.  Amy and I had a pretty wild night last Friday…wine, cheeses, salad and gin cocktails and then 2 am arrival at the bar….really a Berlin style night!!!  We met a few Germans and spent 4 hours at the bar talking with them….I was so excited to finally really use my German and ended up meeting a pretty cool guy sitting at the bar and the bar owner as well….


Sorry, that’s all you get for this one, a little teaser of going out Berlin style (which means you get to the bar around 1 am and then you’re home between 6-8 am).  I planned to finish the blog later (and will  still try to build on this topic soon)…but at this point, October 31st, I’m just gonna post this lovely diddy as she is…......well almost!


I will say that I’ve had several “Berlin nights” since the one mentioned above and am getting quite good at it, I think!  Also, I’ve seen Jörg (the “pretty cool guy” I mentioned above) and Behzad (the bar owner) a few times since that first “Berliner” night out and am sure I will see them again soon!  I really love the adventure of meeting new people…especially when you’re living in a different country and meeting people from so many different places, and using different languages….always keeps things interesting, and even more especially when you’re at the bar ;)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Free Writing and Free Fallin'


As I sat on The Bridge yesterday, I absorbed all that surrounded me and took the opportunity to write a bit.  These are the thoughts that escaped my mind through my pen:

I feel like I’ve been searching for something for a long time.  And after all of these years of searching, I finally realize that what I’ve always been seeking is already within me. 

I have followed so many different paths and callings these last fourteen years; some of which have taken me to far away places…and each of them have had great meaning.  Some even more than great.  And they have all led me to this place, right here, right now.  Sitting on an amazing little bridge, in the heart of Berlin, staring out at a most beautiful sunset.  In a place that is yet another peaceful one that I’ve discovered in this city of cities. And, it happens to be the perfect place to watch the sunset as swans and boats float up and down the canal to destinations unknown... ;)


Heavenly.


As I sit here absorbing all that surrounds me, I sit in peace.  Peace with life; with where I am and with where I have been. Peace with who I am and who I am becoming. And, most especially, with peace in my heart.

Here in Berlin, just as I remember feeling when I lived in Uganda, I am like a toddler in the sense that I am curiuos about everything in the world around me: the tastes, the sounds, the language, the culture, the history.  Everything is exciting and new and such a breath of fresh air.  I get to learn about life all over again, from a new perspective…and this time, with 32 years of living under my belt…what a gift!

At this stage of life discovery I am older and (I hope) a bit wiser.  There are things from my past that have made me a bit more cautious now.  Things that I am still sorting out and trying to figure out the all important balance of learning from them but not becoming too cautious because of them.  I don’t want to let something pass me by because of this caution.  As I tried to illustrate to Amy the other day with the best example I could come up with: “we can’t blame the new boyfriend for things that a previous one did.”  Replace the word "boyfriend" with a million other things and you'll see what I mean.  We certainly need to learn from our past and try to become better, stronger people from it…but we really can’t let our past dictate our future.  We need to live each moment, each experience, each opportunity as if there is nothing to lose! As if it’s the first to come along!  By flying into life with such gumption and gusto, we fuel the fire of success.  So I guess what I'm trying to say is never forget the past…it is who you are and how you’ve become you…but never let it rule your now.

So, I sit here and take it all in.  All the noises: a baby having a little tantrum, German conversations passing by all around me, an American biking by with a friend and telling some seemingly interesting story, the sound of the cars as they slowly rumble over the stones of this unique bridge. I take in the breeze and the sky and the bottle caps decoratively scattered all around this stone bridge, embedded into the mortar after thousands of feet and tires have pushed them down making them a part of it.  I sit here and I feel lucky and grateful to be here in this very moment; observing, absorbing, experiencing and living my life as freely as a bird…....…or perhaps I should say butterfly ;)

Earlier this year an older song really struck a chord with me and as I continue to sing it at random times, I understand more and more why.  After hearing this song for as long as I can remember, it now holds more meaning than I ever could have expected or known before….



And I am so happy for every second of the fall!


**Click the links above to be redirected to my Uganda blog and/or for a special performance by Rage Against the Hungry Machine, my work band, back in April at my last RATHM show (you can skip to 50 seconds in for the start of the song).**

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Airports and Bridges and Swans


While I work on researching job opportunities in Berlin (focusing on companies looking for a native English speaker), I know I need to ensure that I am fully taking advantage of each day I’m here as there is no way of knowing how long it will be.  So, I have been taking off on frequent little adventures: mostly jogging and walking the city which allows me to discover new parks, churches, bridges, restaurants, fun neighborhoods, hidden treasures and more!

Boats and trees and canals
This past Sunday, I decided I should walk around my new neighborhood and just get a feel for it (I’m now staying at Rainer and Luana’s apartment in the city til September 12).  This little neighborhood walk turned into seven miles worth of me wandering along the canal for quite a stretch and then back through the city.  Towards the end of this epic urban hike, as if I am magnetically attracted to it (I think I may be!), I happened upon Tempelhofer Feld.  This old airport is one of my very favorite things in this city full of amazing things.  I just think it’s really wonderful that the public voted to make this huge chunk of green land a space for all to enjoy!  How many closed down airports do you know of where you can freely roam the fields, the taxiway and the runways? 


Clouds and runways and airport terminals
 Where you can come across an old plane that has been there for many decades; or a shooting range where the U.S. military used to train?  Not only that, but at Tempelhof, you can always find people flying kites (not wimpy little kites, but the big kind!), rollerblading, biking through, jogging around, laying in the grass just relaxing, grilling; you can happen upon a pick-up soccer game or a baseball game (they have a few teams in Berlin!). How many old airport fields do you know about where you can go quench your thirst at a beer garden or casually stroll through one of the actual gardens where people have planted sunflowers and other wonderful plants?  Or where you can happen upon an art installment mini-golf course that tempts you at every passing?  It’s just a wonderful, big, beautiful open space and I absolutely love it!




Sun rays and airports and circuses
Bridges and boats and canals














I went on another urban hike today (just shy of seven miles) just in time for sunset and dusk on the canal.  I used part of the same route from Sunday, but rather than turning off the canal when I came to what I now call “The Bridge”…I continued along the canal another hour or so.  This bridge is special because it’s made of stone and has an area for people to sit right in the middle with a lane of traffic going by on either side.  Anytime you come here, you will find people sitting, either in the middle section between the lanes, or on the sides closer to the water below.  Although apparently, there is a bit of controversy about this space as I’ve been told that some people believe that too many people come here to loiter and smoke and drink.  But I don’t see that controversy.  I just see people enjoying a friend’s company in this beautiful setting or taking in a peaceful moment for themselves as they pass over the bridge on their bike.  They stop for a moment to stare off into the horizon and just breathe the fresh air.  Visitors of The Bridge all come and take it all in in their own way and that is the very beauty of it.



Swans and graffiti and vines



Weeping and willows and relaxation