"We've only got 100 years..."

I hadn't intended to share another TED Talk so soon, but I saw this one the other night too and was really moved by it.  Neil Pasricha is a great speaker because you can tell that he truly believes all that he is saying.  It's what makes this is TED Talk so powerful in my eyes.

I just sat down to try and put some of my own thoughts into writing after thinking about a lot of great things the last 24 hours; but, somehow I wasn't quite finding the right words just yet, so I decided to take a break from that writing and go back to some things from the last days.  And that's when I came upon this little diddy again (I had transcribed my favorite bits)!  The thing is, at this point, I really just can't articulate my thoughts better. He hits the nail on the head: “Things are amazing.  There are just so many things to be happy about…but we've only got 100 years to enjoy it."  

So let's enjoy it!  Let's do everything we can to be true to who we are, to follow our hearts, to chase our dreams, to live with integrity,  to love with abandon, to remember (and honor) our own humanity, to be who we've always wanted to be.  Let's hold each other up instead of push each other down.  Let's hug more and argue less.  Let's spread smiles like wildfire.    

I hope you'll enjoy what I deemed,"my favorite bits".

SIDE NOTE: If you happen to have 17 1/2 minutes to listen to his entire Talk (or 5 minutes to listen to the last bit; or even 2 minutes for the very last bit!), I'll leave the link at the bottom......I really think it's worth the time!   

If you ask me, some great (even if at times, cheesy!) thoughts to start the weekend!!!

Much big love to all :)

Neil Pasricha, The Three A’s of Awesome (born from his blog and books, "1000 Awesome Things"):

“…I have had the opportunity to take a step back and ask myself, ‘what is it over the last few years that has sort of helped me grow my website, but also grow myself?’ And I’ve summarized those things (for me personally) as ‘Three A’s’: they are Attitude, Awareness, and Authenticity…Look, we’re all gonna get lumps and we’re all gonna get bumps.  None of us can predict the future, but we do know one thing about it.  And that’s that it ain’t going to go according to plan.  We will all have high highs and big days and proud moments…but between those high highs, we may also have some lumps and some bumps, too.  It’s sad and it’s not pleasant to talk about...there are times in life when you will be tossed up in the well too.  With twists in your stomach and with holes in your heart.  And when that bad news washes over you, and when that pain sponges and soaks in, I just really hope you feel that you’ve always got two choices: 1) you could swirl and twirl and gloom and doom forever; or, 2): you can grieve, and then face the future with newly sober eyes.  Having a great Attitude is about choosing option number two.  And choosing, no matter how difficult it is, no matter what pain hits you: choosing to move forward and move on, and take baby steps into the future…The second “A” is Awareness.  I love hanging out with three year olds.  I love the way that they see the world because they’re seeing the world for the first time…Having a sense of awareness is just about embracing your inner three year old.  Being aware is just about remembering that you saw everything you’ve seen for the first time once, too…The last “A” is Authenticity…it’s just about being YOU, and being cool with that.  And, I think, when you’re authentic, you end up following your heart and you put yourself in places and in situations and in conversations that you love and that you enjoy.  You meet people that you like talking to; you go places you’ve dreamt about; and, you end up following your heart and feeling very fulfilled…”

And after all of that honesty and all of those thoughts and inspirations, Mr. Pasricha leaves us with a bit more to ponder during his Closing Thought (min. 12:45):

He points out something that I think we should all try to keep in mind more often:

“…the cashiers at your grocery store, the foreman at your plant, the guy tailgating you home on the highway, the telemarketer calling you during dinner.  Every teacher you’ve ever had, everyone that’s ever woken up beside you.  Every politican in every country, every actor in every movie.  Every single person in your family, everyone you love, everyone in this room…...and you, will be dead in 100 years.  Life is so great that we only get such a short time to experience and enjoy all those tiny little moments that make it so sweet. And that moment is right now.  And those moments are counting down.  And those moments are always, always, always fleeting…”

****Click here to see "The Three A's of Awesome"

****To love with abandon means: "to love completely and wholly without limiting yourself at all."

"How would you change?"

I was recently introduced to TED Talks (thanks, Emory!!) and wanted to start sharing some here as there are several that I've already come across that truly inspire us all to live better lives.  No matter what we are doing with ourselves today, I'm sure most of us would agree that there is almost always room for improvement.  Whether it be in our actions, in our behavior, in our relationships with ourselves or those around us.  You never know what might spark a movement within your soul to make a change or follow your heart or go after your dream, or even just to simply try to live a happier, more positive life one small baby step at a time.  As I share with you ideas that inspire me, I hope you'll feel free to share some of your favorite inspirations with me too!

Ric Elias was on Flight 1549 when it crash-landed onto the Hudson River back in 2009.  Here are some of my favorite parts of what he says he learned as he realized the plane was in trouble and going down:

“I learned that it all changes in an instant.  We have this bucket list of things we want to do in life. I thought of all the people that I wanted to reach out to, all the fences I wanted to mend.  All of the experiences that I wanted to have and I never did…I no longer want to postpone anything in life.  That urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life…in my own humanity and mistakes, I’ve tried to get better at the things I try.  I regretted the time I’d wasted in things that did not matter, with people that matter…I decided to eliminate negative things from my life; it’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better.  I no longer try to be right; I choose to be happy.....I was given the gift of a miracle; of not dying that day.  And I was given another gift.  Which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live differently.  How would you change?  What would you get done that you’ve been waiting to get done because you think you’re gonna be here forever.  How would you change your relationships and the negative energy in them?”

Some great food for thought, no??

Please click here to watch his full Talk (it's only five minutes!): http://www.ted.com/talks/ric_elias.html

Die Liebe Mauer (The Love Wall)

As I've mentioned a few times before, one of my most favorite discoveries since arriving in Berlin in August is what I have dubbed, "Die Liebe Mauer."  I happened upon this beautiful wall one afternoon as I was on one of my long urban hikes, just wandering the streets of the city, along the canal, then twisting and turning, until I finally ended at one of my other favorite places, Tempelhof Airport/Park.  As I walked along this wall and came across the different expressions and declarations of love, I felt a warmth in my heart knowing that there was once a wall in Berlin that meant something so different than love...and now, there is this wall just so full of love.  I've gone back to Die Liebe Mauer several times since first discovering it and I've told many Berliners about it.  I'm not sure if they've walked by it yet, but I hope that when they do it brings them some warmth as well!  

Back in January (on the 14th), I shared photos with you of an afternoon when I was on my way back to the wall, but first ventured to the other side and discovered a beautiful cemetery.  Today, finally, I share with you, Die Liebe Mauer!  I hope you enjoy your virtual visit ;)

A term of endearment meaning "treasure"

"I love you above all else.  You are my life."

"Je t'aime Marie" = French for "I love you, Marie"

"Ich liebe dich fur immer" = German for "I love you forever"

"Martina, ich liebe dich" = German for "Martina, I love you"
"Meine einzig grosse Liebe" = German for "My only big love"

"Du bist ein Traum! Ich liebe dich. Deine xxxx"
You are a dream!  I love you. Yours, xxxx

"Anthony, je t'aime" = French for "Anthony, I love you"
"Liebe" = German for "love"

"Daniel, ich liebe nur dich. Deine Betty"
"Daniel, I love only you.  Your Betty"

In this photo, you can see signs of what is on the other side of the wall.

self-portrait = reflection in a car I was passing

"ich liebe dich"

"...but I've chosen rock" ... ???

The end.  Or the beginning.  Depends on how you look at it!

(and a confession)

At the end of the day….I’ve had love in my life every single day; I’ve felt it in my very core and I’ve shared it with many people.  And that love that I’ve been gifted with along with the love that I have given others, it’s all made me who I am.

But although I really wanted this week's writing to focus on all of the beauty of love, I must also take this opportunity to make a confession (something which the people closest to me already know).  Someone told me last fall that if I’m going to write…I have to write about everything. I have to make myself vulnerable.  And I think love makes people vulnerable by nature because when you love or even crave love, you’re putting yourself out there in the world.  So anyways, it can be difficult to be honest about how you feel when you don’t have a special someone in your life; but, I've worked hard on what you're about to read (it wasn't easy to articulate!), and I've tried my best to explain how I'm feeling because I think it’s important...so please bare with me!  

Here goes: although I am filled with such great love from my family everywhere, there is definitely a void in my life that’s just waiting to be filled.  Having known the feeling of being in love four times during my young adult life, I understand the pure beauty of sharing my life with someone in such an intimate and special way.  And because of that, I have to believe in my heart and soul that I will have the opportunity to feel such a unique love again.  

Some of you know that it’s been eight years since I last had a boyfriend; (for whom I had/will always have a lot of love!) and nine years since I was last IN love; and while I do feel really lucky that I’ve experienced such love, I really want to have that again.   Throughout the years, my eyes have been open; my heart always on my sleeve. I’ve dated here and there and shared bits of myself and my life with a few people, but I’ve been patiently waiting for my person (at least I think I have been!).  During these years, I have enjoyed life as much as I could.  I’ve lived a few different chapters…important, challenging, beautiful chapters.  I’ve taken advantage of this time of independence and I’ve shared my life with many people.    I’ve made some mistakes along the way.  I’ve won some and I’ve lost some.  But mostly, I’ve lived, I’ve laughed and I’ve loved.   And because of those last three things, I am, have been and will always be so very grateful for all of the adventures and love along life's crazy journey!  

So although I may have felt disappointed or inpatient at times, I have lived my life believing as much as possible that everything is as it’s meant to be.  It's just that, at this point, I'm really feeling in my soul that I’ve been “explorin’ and tourin’” the world on my own for long enough….that it’s time to have my partner with whom I discover what’s around the next corner.  I’m so happy and excited to share my life deeply and whole-heartedly with someone; and, I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes I really just don’t want to have to wait any longer!  Sometimes I really wonder what’s taking the universe so long to have our paths cross…sheesh!  (Enough suspense already.)

But while I’m floating along life's path, I remind myself that if there's one thing I've learned along the way, it's that we must always love ourselves.  So you better believe that after all of these years of self-discovery, I don’t plan to settle for anything less than the real deal: someone who loves me whole-heartedly and unconditionally (as I feel I will love them).  Someone who really appreciates me; cherishes and treasure me.  I know this exists and is possible to find in someone else (I know many people who have such great and genuine love)…and I know it’s what I want for me and my life. And why shouldn’t I?  I mean, how else should we love and be loved?   

So there, I’ve said it.  It’s out in the open.  I love love and I dream of great love in my future ;)  I dream of the kind of love Carrie Bradshaw dreamt about: “Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”  And I’m proud of that dream!  Now, if only I could magically become an awesome dater!  (I think I've failed a bit at dating in the past, but I'm going to have to be a bit more pro-active about it now that I'm making this very public declaration.)  Afterall, what good is a dream if we're not willing to work to make it become a reality?

But, anyways…regardless of if you are lucky enough to be sharing your life with someone special right now who makes you feel safe and comforted in this big crazy world or if you’re special crew is a family full of people who will always love, cherish and protect you no matter what…whoever your “person” or “people” are…tell them “thank you” often and always love them back with all you have.  Love and gratitude are the greatest gifts we can give each other (and ourselves!)!

As Mr. Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist: “when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.  When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

So let’s all just keep on lovin’!

To all the people who have a place in my heart...my life would be nothing without you!

"Ich liebe dich.  Du bist mein Leben."
"I love you.  You are my life."

LOVE.

What a notion.  A concept above all other concepts.  Something that is simply a part of us.  Something that lives within us and has the ability to grow….forever, if we let it.  Love, if we allow it, can be the answer to all of our questions…to all of our anxieties…to all of our sorrows.  Love can be found in everything.  It is in the air we breathe, in the breeze in the trees, it’s in the hug from a loved one or the smile from a stranger.  It’s in the way you put your hand on someone’s shoulder…or on the small of their back.  It’s how you look at someone.   

(Photo credit goes to Tina, I just did some minor edits!)

Love.

I was born into love, so it has always been a part of my life.  I am so very fortunate to be able to say that I have an AMAZING family (I know, here I go again...but just go with it!).  Anyways, my parents, my sisters (and their families), my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my adopted parents and families in Dorseyville and Ecuador and Germany, my beautiful friends…so many GOOD human beings helped to shape me into the person I am today…so one thing that I have never lacked in my life has been Love.  I know how very fortunate I am because of that.  And as I’ve grown up and lived life….I’ve experienced different kinds of love with different friends, different loves, different family members…it's a constant, ever-evolving thing, that love.  And each person with whom you share love has their own unique love.

Love. 

Love makes us do crazy things.  It makes us take risks that we may not otherwise take.  It makes us think about life a little differently.  It makes us feel somehow invincible.  Love can be scary, but it also gives us the power to believe that anything is possible.  It’s something that is a part of our very being.  Something that has it’s own ideas.  Something that shapes us into who we are.   It's such a simple concept, especially if we allow the love within us to flow freely.  Afterall, as Mahatma Ghandi once said,  "where there is love, there is life." So what better gift could we give to ourselves than that of loving others and accepting love into our lives?

(Photo credit to Michon, with a few small edits of my own.)

"It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all...the opposite of love is indifference."

People say that Berlin changes in the winter because of the dark, dreary, wet weather…but doesn’t that happen in many cities around the world?  Yes, it gets dark here at 4:30 pm, but that’s not so much earlier than other places I’ve lived; and, as much as we all use it as an excuse…we shouldn’t allow such things to let us forget all the beauty to be found in each day.

random colors in the snow,
found whilst jogging in a park I had been meaning to visit

On top of that...when you think about it, don’t most negative things have some sort of positive thing attached to them, just as the rainbow follows the storm?  I have even found that in death, we can find life.  I said that to a new friend recently during a conversation about the universe.  I love pondering the universe and he is an astro-physicist, so it was an interesting conversation.   I explained to him that when my uncle died in a tragic car accident eight years ago, my family really came together as we mourned our loss. As we spent those first nights after the accident visiting my aunt in the hospital (she survived and is most definitely one of our angels on Earth) and having dinner and talking and working through the emotions of what had happened, my cousins and I got to know each other again.  But not just as cousins…as people; and most especially, as friends.  As it happens, you spend your childhood hanging out with your cousins at family events, and then when we grow up and get busy with our lives, we fail to think about hanging out with cousins outside of family events.  Somehow, no matter how many memories you have with your family growing up, you don’t necessarily think to become friends that end up calling each other to go grab a drink when you’re older.  In October 2004, that all changed.  We rallied around each other that fall and winter and spent countless hours and evenings playing poker, drinking beer, singing karaoke, bowling and just enjoying life together...in many ways, living our lives the way Uncle Rick had lived his: having FUN.  My uncle, in his death, brought us together...which ultimately brought us so many beautiful moments we may not have shared together.  So, I like to believe that in his death, he brought us life.  And what an incredible legacy that is.  I think of Uncle Rick often and miss him very much; and I’ll always wish we could have had more time to laugh together and celebrate life with him here in person; but, knowing that he is a part of every gathering and celebration because of the spirit he continues to give to us and because he is an important part of the relationships we’ve built…believing that and knowing that gives me a sense of peace in my heart.  And in my heart, he is forever kept…

Uncle Rick :) 

So, if we can find life in death, it seems that we should definitely be able to take the dark and dreary winter with the bright and beautiful summer.  We should be able to see the beauty around us, no matter what.  It’s a part of taking the bad with the good so that you can really appreciate the good.  It’s the Yin and the Yang.  If it were always beautiful and sunny, would we appreciate it as much as we might hope?

Another random thought on this topic: isn’t heartbreak all about love?  For without love, there could be no heartbreak.  Love is a beautiful positive thing…even when it’s breaking out hearts…it reminds us of that precious beauty that exists in the world.  And the reality that love exists should always be a positive thing because that gives us hope. And what is life without hope and dreams??  The Lumineers have some beautiful lyrics, and one that specifically always sticks out to me is this one: “It’s better to feel pain…than nothing at all.  The opposite of love is indifference.”  It gets me every time.  It touches my heart and soul.  Wouldn’t you rather be heartbroken because of love (of a friend, family member or significant other, etc) than indifferent to love altogether?!?  I know I would.  And I know that will never change.  It’s who I am and I accept that.  I accept that in love, there will be loss and sorrow.  But I wouldn’t give up the love, to protect myself from the pain.  After all, hasn’t it been said the world over that without great risk, there cannot be great love?  Specifically, as the Dalai Lama has said, “....great love and great achievements involve great risk. Risk is involved in every opportunity in life.”

something I passed last month going through the park many
days on my way to class

And one final thought on this theme of taking the bad with the good whether it be with something as simple as the weather, or as difficult as death or as complicated as love: isn’t it in our biggest challenges that we learn the most about ourselves and grow more into the person we have always been and/or are meant to be? 

Berlin might be dark and dreary in the winter, but it was certainly a gorgeous place to explore this past fall and for all that I discovered during that time, I love it!  I am so grateful for all of the time I spent “explorin’ and tourin’” and all of the great energy I soaked up.  Walking, jogging and biking through this city, I learned to notice all of the unexpected surprises around so many corners; and I have appreciated so many different life moments that much more because of it.  And now, as I walk along the canal, jog through the cobble stone side streets, or bike by places both familiar and new...wherever I may be, I can still see the colors and the beauty and am still open to new discoveries and possibilities around every corner.  In wintry and often snow covered Berlin, you never know what you might see!

something familiar (and still beautiful!)
taken during a recent visit to one of my very favorite Berlin spots

something new...who knew we had camels in Berlin??
found during a random bike ride

I have been describing Berlin for months as a magical city; but perhaps it is simply life that is magical.  We just have to open our eyes to see the magic wherever we may be….come rain or shine; dark times or bright; hot or cold; up or down.  It’s up to us to push the clouds away!


Click here to see The Lumineers perform Stubborn Love: http://www.youtube.com/itsbettertofeelpain