"It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all...the opposite of love is indifference."

People say that Berlin changes in the winter because of the dark, dreary, wet weather…but doesn’t that happen in many cities around the world?  Yes, it gets dark here at 4:30 pm, but that’s not so much earlier than other places I’ve lived; and, as much as we all use it as an excuse…we shouldn’t allow such things to let us forget all the beauty to be found in each day.

random colors in the snow,
found whilst jogging in a park I had been meaning to visit

On top of that...when you think about it, don’t most negative things have some sort of positive thing attached to them, just as the rainbow follows the storm?  I have even found that in death, we can find life.  I said that to a new friend recently during a conversation about the universe.  I love pondering the universe and he is an astro-physicist, so it was an interesting conversation.   I explained to him that when my uncle died in a tragic car accident eight years ago, my family really came together as we mourned our loss. As we spent those first nights after the accident visiting my aunt in the hospital (she survived and is most definitely one of our angels on Earth) and having dinner and talking and working through the emotions of what had happened, my cousins and I got to know each other again.  But not just as cousins…as people; and most especially, as friends.  As it happens, you spend your childhood hanging out with your cousins at family events, and then when we grow up and get busy with our lives, we fail to think about hanging out with cousins outside of family events.  Somehow, no matter how many memories you have with your family growing up, you don’t necessarily think to become friends that end up calling each other to go grab a drink when you’re older.  In October 2004, that all changed.  We rallied around each other that fall and winter and spent countless hours and evenings playing poker, drinking beer, singing karaoke, bowling and just enjoying life together...in many ways, living our lives the way Uncle Rick had lived his: having FUN.  My uncle, in his death, brought us together...which ultimately brought us so many beautiful moments we may not have shared together.  So, I like to believe that in his death, he brought us life.  And what an incredible legacy that is.  I think of Uncle Rick often and miss him very much; and I’ll always wish we could have had more time to laugh together and celebrate life with him here in person; but, knowing that he is a part of every gathering and celebration because of the spirit he continues to give to us and because he is an important part of the relationships we’ve built…believing that and knowing that gives me a sense of peace in my heart.  And in my heart, he is forever kept…

Uncle Rick :) 

So, if we can find life in death, it seems that we should definitely be able to take the dark and dreary winter with the bright and beautiful summer.  We should be able to see the beauty around us, no matter what.  It’s a part of taking the bad with the good so that you can really appreciate the good.  It’s the Yin and the Yang.  If it were always beautiful and sunny, would we appreciate it as much as we might hope?

Another random thought on this topic: isn’t heartbreak all about love?  For without love, there could be no heartbreak.  Love is a beautiful positive thing…even when it’s breaking out hearts…it reminds us of that precious beauty that exists in the world.  And the reality that love exists should always be a positive thing because that gives us hope. And what is life without hope and dreams??  The Lumineers have some beautiful lyrics, and one that specifically always sticks out to me is this one: “It’s better to feel pain…than nothing at all.  The opposite of love is indifference.”  It gets me every time.  It touches my heart and soul.  Wouldn’t you rather be heartbroken because of love (of a friend, family member or significant other, etc) than indifferent to love altogether?!?  I know I would.  And I know that will never change.  It’s who I am and I accept that.  I accept that in love, there will be loss and sorrow.  But I wouldn’t give up the love, to protect myself from the pain.  After all, hasn’t it been said the world over that without great risk, there cannot be great love?  Specifically, as the Dalai Lama has said, “....great love and great achievements involve great risk. Risk is involved in every opportunity in life.”

something I passed last month going through the park many
days on my way to class

And one final thought on this theme of taking the bad with the good whether it be with something as simple as the weather, or as difficult as death or as complicated as love: isn’t it in our biggest challenges that we learn the most about ourselves and grow more into the person we have always been and/or are meant to be? 

Berlin might be dark and dreary in the winter, but it was certainly a gorgeous place to explore this past fall and for all that I discovered during that time, I love it!  I am so grateful for all of the time I spent “explorin’ and tourin’” and all of the great energy I soaked up.  Walking, jogging and biking through this city, I learned to notice all of the unexpected surprises around so many corners; and I have appreciated so many different life moments that much more because of it.  And now, as I walk along the canal, jog through the cobble stone side streets, or bike by places both familiar and new...wherever I may be, I can still see the colors and the beauty and am still open to new discoveries and possibilities around every corner.  In wintry and often snow covered Berlin, you never know what you might see!

something familiar (and still beautiful!)
taken during a recent visit to one of my very favorite Berlin spots

something new...who knew we had camels in Berlin??
found during a random bike ride

I have been describing Berlin for months as a magical city; but perhaps it is simply life that is magical.  We just have to open our eyes to see the magic wherever we may be….come rain or shine; dark times or bright; hot or cold; up or down.  It’s up to us to push the clouds away!


Click here to see The Lumineers perform Stubborn Love: http://www.youtube.com/itsbettertofeelpain